another week, still pregnant

Well, I still have pregnancy symptoms, so that's a plus. Of course, my boobs were killing me last night each time I got up to pee. And this morning, I felt queasy enough that getting out of bed was not an attractive option. I mentioned it to G. who started kissing my hand and telling me how happy he was that I nauseous, or something to that effect. Gotta love my hubby.

Progesterone today was 23.7 which is not bad but still not high. Had my 2nd shot of progesterone in the other butt cheek/hip region. When my RE jabbed me, I must have made some kind of noise because she laughed "You don't like shots, do you?" Whatever gave her that idea?

She also suggested that G. learn how to inject the progesterone, too. This shot warrants a different technique because it is intramuscular so he would have to "dart" me with a longer needle whereas the Lovenox is subcutaneous so he injects the shorter needle into tummy fat. The other day, I think he was getting experimental, and he darted me with the Lovenox needle. Needless to say, I was none too pleased with his needle happy ways.

I'm also getting very bruised on the right side of my abdomen because for some reason, I panicked about having the Lovenox injected into my left side, so I insisted on him injecting the right side over and over again. The result is a lovely patchwork of bloody dots and greenish purple brusing. So finally I asked my RE if I should be injecting somewhere else, and she said "all over your belly. Don't do it in the same place twice."

Okay, the official word is to stop obsessing over keeping it on the right side. I don't know why I have to wait to hear it from authoritative sources to shake me out of my superstitious behavior. G. probably suggested the same thing but God forbid I listen to my husband. I just don't want to put him in the position of giving me advice and then, if it doesn't work out, blaming him.

I know this doesn't sound logical but it is the same illogic I'm using in choosing not to have him inject me with progesterone right now and getting it done at the RE's office. If I'm having enough of a breakdown having him inject me in my belly, I don't think I need him darting my ass, too. I want him to be my safe haven, my protector, not my Needle Bogeyman.

My world currently revolves around pregnancy (napping, eating, peeing), caring for a sick dog who now pees indescriminantly around the house (anyone have experience with doggie diapers?) and trying to cobble together a totally freelance living.

I am amazed to be saying in this blog that I'm still pregnant. I have no illusions that I'm in the clear yet, but I'm definitely in a new headspace. I feel like I'm trying on a new outfit and wish I had a personal tailor who could make it fit just right. At the moment, it is too big in some places, too tight in others. And do I look fat in this outfit?