Things Miscarrying Women Obsess About

Regardless of how many pregnancies and miscarriages, I cannot believe I'm still immediately entering this obsessive zone where every little thing is significant, telling and earth shattering.

1. Boob Check - We constantly lift our shirts, remove our bras, stare into the bathroom mirror and wonder "Are they bigger? Are they getting just a little bit bigger yet? And are the aureoles changing color, size or shape?" The answer is still no.

2. Boob Soreness Testing - We are constantly squeezing our boobs, one in each hand, wondering if they are sore at that moment. Weren't they sore just a few minutes ago? Why aren't they sore now? Am I starting to miscarry?

3. Lukewarm Showers - We keep turning down the hot water in our showers because God Forbid our body temperature goes up too high and this microscopic alien inside of us boils to death.

4. Anti Stomach Suck - We make a conscious effort to undo years of holding in our stomachs for that "Yes, I still have flat abs" look because God Forbid we were to crush anything in our uterus from these constant paranoid abdominal crunches. Relax abs. Make room.

5. Nausea Check - We measure infinitisimal waves of mere queasiness and wonder if it will soon roil into full-on nausea because we've heard that the more nauseaous, the better chance of keeping a pregnancy. We pray for nausea.

6. Caffeine Cold Turkey Process - We barely sip our coffee, worried that we'll somehow damage some hormonal balance or send our microscopic alien into some kind of jitters and it will shake loose and fall out. We lament the fact that we don't have decaf on hand. We get a headache.

7. Food Analysis - We are suddenly keenly aware of the non-organic crap we are putting into our bodies and realize that we're probably chock full of preservatives, steroids, artificial coloring and flavoring and bovine hormones because we were too lax at the grocery store. We are certain that we are a hostile environment for a fetus.

8. The Head to Toe Assessment - We wonder if every tweak, twinge, body sound and function is somehow a sign of being pregnant or being on the verge of miscarrying. No twitch is immune from our scrutiny.