the process, the process.
the body knows what needs to be done.
the mind is doing its own thing and I
have to bring it back to the process.
I keep wanting to get up and work on
the computer (here I am again) and
sitting up hurts right now.

there is no more excruciating cramping
pain, it is just a low, dull, streaking
ache across my abdomen. the bleeding
is still there - not heavy but consistent.
just blood, nothing else.

I'm using a hot water bottle for comfort,
Chinese herbs to stem the bleeding and
should be resting. I'll go back to bed in
a minute.

My book about the first trimester of
pregnancy is taking shape. This is
an important and necessary project.
I feel like I'm channeling. But I have
so much research to do.

Work is piling up but I'm going to be
diligent about working on it this weekend.
First, I have to allow myself time to heal.
I keep thinking I'm okay, and then
double over in pain. My mind cannot
fool my body.