took a walk yesterday and it packed
a wallop. nothing strenuous or long,
a flat road and a casual stroll with
all the dogs. But it was at 8000 feet,
and I'm living at 7200 so there was
some elevation difference. Not sure
if that was enough to affect me.

But within an hour, my legs felt like
they were hollowed out and stiff.
impossible to walk normally. Like I had
run a marathon and my muscles no
longer responded. Not painful, but
definitely not normal.

I'm taking it easy today, staying in
bed and working on some projects
that I can bring to bed with me, like
grading papers and laying out a
brochure on the computer.

legs feel a little wobbly today but nothing
like last night.

had a nice valentine's dinner at the
local vegetarian restaurant. watched
a movie at home. was depressed all
day so I opted for a comedy - something
I never rent because I prefer action/
adventure. "Bruce Almighty" - Jim
Carrey is a little over the top, but last
night, his humor and the theme of the
movie were just the right medicine.

depression - trying to pinpoint. mood
swing? hormones? I think it has to do
with the fact that in 1993, around
valentine's day, I had an abortion.
In hindsight, it was the right and wrong
decision, but regardless, it creeps into
my psyche every once in a while,
and always around valentine's day.

Now I'm pregnant during the same
timeframe, and also, by freaky coincidence,
during this 2nd attempt at pregnancy,
I'm just about at the exact same
time as I was in my pregnancy back
then when it happened. A little over
7 weeks.

Let's see if this one lasts. Maybe this
one is supposed to in some symbolic
way. OK, my mind is in la-la land.
Must be the hormones. But hey, you
never know.