bleeding has started - very light but
something has shifted. I had an
extemely intense reflexology treatment
yesterday by an RN who has been doing
reflexology for 20 years. she said
she has induced labor - uterine contractions -
before so seemed confident she could help.

sure enough, small cramps last night
and this morning, bleeding starting.
right now more like darkish brown
and not heavy but it is a start.

really began to feel shifting after the
accupunturist treated me Saturday and
the reflexology was the icing on the
proverbial cake of pain.

G. and I had another hormonally charged
irrational fight where I spewed out evil
words without any ability to stop. He was
so hurt and I kept trying to tell him not
to take what I was saying personally.
but it must have been like the Exorcist
movie - one minute I'm a sweet, loving
woman, the next the devil incarnate with
bile coming out of my mouth.

We finally got through it, thank goodness.
he is such a good man, I don't want to hurt
him any more than he is already hurting.
he admitted he is afraid to get me pregnant
again - to put me through this. this isn't
happening because of him - I am certain
something is slightly wrong with me and I
know it can be fixed - if they will only pay
attention.