the process:
On Tuesday, light cramps in the morning.
By midday, stronger along with nausea.
Intense and excrutiating, really.
Finally needed more pads but G.,
bless his male heart, brought the
wrong kind. Actually, the right kind
based on my description, but not
big enough. So he drove me to the
store and I hobbled down the aisles
to get bigger pads. I educated him about
sanitary napkins and we left.

I also bought saline solution. I was
told I could keep a sample of whatever
came out of me in a jar in saline to
bring to the doctor for testing.

The moment I got home, had to go
to the bathroom. Something came
out of me. I had felt it dislodge earlier,
I'm sure of it, from the left side of
my uterus (where, "coincidentally,"
a small sac was attached as viewed in
the ultrasound the previous week).

It fell into the toilet. I had no desire
to fish it out. It was there, larger than
a golf ball, nearly round. It was gone.
I told G. about it later and he said he
would have fished it out for me.
The Scientist. He said we could have
used a soup ladle. I had nightmares
about the soup ladle the next night.
"Throw it out!" I screamed. "Don't
try to wash it!"

The rest of the stuff was just the dark,
stringy blood clots of a heavy period.
Then just blood, red, bright and glossy.

Now, just blood, red sometimes, dark
sometimes. Not a whole lot, but I change
my pad every time I see it - I don't like
it there. Modern women are so used
to tampons and so unused to the sight
and feel of their own blood. We're so
"evolved" and so out of touch.

The worst of the pain and nausea lasted
about 6 hours. Last time it was 48.