there is a possibility that the midwife
was calculating my pregnancy based on
an incorrect date I originally put in my
records when I went to see them for
the first time - the "getting to know you
but I'm not pregnant yet" visit.

I had forgotten to record the first day
of my last period (December) and could
not remember when it was. So I put
Dec 19, my birthday, but later realized
that was totally wrong.

I told this to the midwife once I was
pregnant and she said they'd change
that date. I estimated it was probably
Christmas Day ie. Dec 25.

Well, last week, Thursday, I had my
levels done and she specifically said
that I was not at the levels she would
expect for 6 weeks.

Then she ordered an ultrasound for
Tuesday, for my "peace of mind," she
said.

Well, this morning, I began calculating
in my head - not the best way to wake
up in the morning because numbers
give me a headache - but I was beginning
to think that she may have been using
the old date.

I could be wrong, however, based on a
little "pregnancy wheel" that I received
the last time I was pregnant, if the
first day of my last period was Dec 19,
then on Thursday of last week, I would have
been toward the end of my 6th week,
ie. levels would be somewhere between
1,080 - 56,500.

But I know I did not start my period
on my birthday. So if the first day of
my last period was Dec 25, then on
Thursday when they took my levels,
I was still in my 5th week, at the tail
end. Levels for that time period are...
19 - 7,340. So at 7000, I was at the
upper end.

My 6th week, then, would start around
Friday, the day after I had the levels
done.

Now I don't want to get hopeful or
worried or anything. But there is a
possibility that the midwife was simply
calculating based on a wrong date.

I'm thinking I do not want the ultrasound.
Most importantly, because if I were to see
the flickering heartbeat, confirming life,
then I were to miscarry, I think it would be
too much emotionally for me to bear.
Right now, it isn't "real" in a way - just
a process that is happening. I am better
off waiting until my 8th or 9th week when
I have my first actual checkup.

Also, ultrasounds are invasive (ie. this
is intra-vaginal, not abdominal), so I'd
rather keep the invasion to a minimum
at this early stage.

All this, on a Sunday morning.