Feeling almost normal. Still.
But did go for a walk today.
Not the usual hour-long that
G. and I were doing before
I was pregnant, but a good start.

Still bleeding a little, like a period
tapering off. A fake period as in
I did not ovulate but am bleeding.
Now if my period starts up again
in 28 days from the first day I
started bleeding, then we're
back on track.

I had my checkup on March 18
with the doctor. Here is pretty
much how it went based on the
written questions I had.

1. Both pregnancies began having
trouble in the 6th or 7th week.
How could this be? Coincidence?
Pattern of something and if so,
what?

ANSWER: No way of knowing for sure.
Basically, I was told that these things
happen. It was most likely a genetic
defect but that I'm looking for answers
where there are none.

2. I've been thinking that my progesterone
levels may have been low. Should I take
a supplement next time I get pregnant.

ANSWER: It is difficult to show or prove
that it would help. But it can't hurt.
If I wanted to be on progesterone,
they could arrange it.

3. Are there any tests I should have done
right now to see if there is anything
physically wrong with me? Echohysterogram
or Hysteroscopy to see the uterus inside,
see if there are any abnormalities?

ANSWER: The first test to be done would
be a saline infusion sonohysterogram
where saline is infused into the uterus
through the cervix and viewed. The only
thing they could see is if there were
adhesions (scarring) or fibroids. They could
do that if I wanted. He began to emphasize
that these tests cost money and could be
a waste of money and time, not showing
anything and not getting me closer to
the answers I want.

4. How soon can I try to get pregnant again?

ANSWER: After a normal period. Since this
one was not a normal period ie. without
ovulation, it is best to wait until the next one.

5. Should I get a PAP smear because I had
an abnormal one a year ago and never had
conclusive results that it was normal again?

ANSWER: An abnormal PAP smear would not
interfere with pregnancy or cause miscarriage.
However, once I'm pregnant again, they will
do one as a matter of course.

6. Should I see the reproductive endocrinologist
he mentioned in our last visit?

ANSWER: I can if I want. (He seemed annoyed
that I would want to and began listing the
things he would do to me - invasive and
expensive - to make a pregnancy happen and
implied he was good for becoming pregnant
but not staying pregnant. My problem has
not been infertility.)

7. Are there other books or resources he
could recommend that I read?

ANSWER: He has a few pamphlets but
has not books to recommend. He had never
read the book "How to Prevent Miscarriage
and Other Crisis of Pregnancy" by
Dr. Stefan Semchyshyn. He said that he
only read medical journals and implied
that these other books were questionable.
He did recommend going to the
American College of ObGYN's web site.

8. Is there any place locally I can go
for emotional support for pregnancy loss?

ANSWER: He suggested I should be careful
where I go for support (I think he was still
disturbed that I was getting my info from
a book from the library). He said that I
am looking for answers that I will never
be able to get. He did not recommend or
refer me to any help or support group.


He also mentioned that they found a 1 centimeter
fibroid in the left fundal region of my uterus during
the ultrasound from last month but did not
seem the least bit concerned due to the small
size and position. "As long as it is not near the
lining, it won't be a problem." Of course, he
had no actual idea whether it was near the
lining or not because he didn't go over to
see it.

Does any of this freak you out? Or am I
just a wee bit paranoid?